she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
