That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
