some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
