There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
