i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
