I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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