There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
