At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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