My first STD was from a foam party
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I believe in your delicious
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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