If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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