we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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