Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize