i jhust puked up my retainher.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
