God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
