If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
