i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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