He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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