It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
