so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
