I wish i was in the wii world.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
