Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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