I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
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