i think my mom watched the whole time
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
