If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
