Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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