so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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