idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize