I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize