I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
what is it with giant penises always finding me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
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