she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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