I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You made out with two different species that night
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Randomize
