i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
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