I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
