Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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