remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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