we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
