PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
why is half of my head shaved?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
