"it" just moved
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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