Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
