last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
not ubering you a puppy
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
