Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
