I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Sacagawea was the original milf.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
