i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
