In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Randomize
