everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
