So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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