Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
