I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
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