i just wanna soil my oats bro
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
