We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
