I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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