there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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