Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
