you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
