Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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