I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
