i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
