She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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