I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Send help, water and tortillas.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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